Q: If the people around you need healing, you have to heal yourself first and that’s when you can detach because you’re looking after yourself first. One would hope by looking after yourself, the ripple effect will come through and it is not your job to do the healing for someone else. That is quite a strong signal when you see something in someone else and it is in very close quarters, so if you reflect on something you didn’t know you needed to do then you do it for yourself and then the consequences could be fabulous for the other person as well.
Anna: This is an interesting question that has many layers of responses. To start with, for all healing to be accepted by the other, it needs to be objective. With most people, it is subjective because they have an agenda for the other, and that is their health and wellbeing. So an attachment is formed right from the beginning, particularly if people have been poorly taught.
True healing is when one holds space for another to find truth within and align themselves to this – this is known as Wisdom Flow. And then it has a chance to be permanent.
The rest is blah-blah-blah from the personality.
If anyone truly wants to, they will heal. – you can never hold the space for someone else if they don’t want it. Because we all love people we have desires for them but we can’t do anything for them especially against their will as it then becomes a battle of the wills. If you are doing this you have to ask yourself why. The answer will lead you to the truth about your personal agenda, not just for them,for yourself too.
And of course, as with all knowing, another piece is put into place for your own peace.
There has to be a balance between holding space for someone to heal and continuously giving them the momentum to heal. If they do, wonderful, if not then you’ll come to a tipping point of realisation that they are not going to heal because it is not their karmic journey or it is due to the fears of the personality. Then you have to choose what you do with this information that Spirit has given you. Step back and watch? Impossible for most. Try to force it? I say ‘try’ because you can never really force anything? Try to move on? Impossible without resolution of some sort. Or wring your hands in ‘despair’ and carry on as usual?
Nothing right or wrong here, just a gentle and tender knowing of energy flow for yourself.
You can always hold space for a person to heal and get on with your own life at the same time, you know. Free will then comes into play particularly when the other watches your back receding into the distance and could then be motivated to make a diffference choice for themselves.
In essence, though, you are not trying to force anything and the healing stays objective and therefore free. Most important, your own forward momentum is not compromised.
In considering the above in the light of your question, know this. On each step of the way no one can tell you what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’. You are the only one who can sit in the energy and feel it to know it. Ultimately, whatever you decide to do and are at peace with it is the right choice for you in that single, precious moment.
Assignment: Please consider all the times when you held an agenda for someone else’s healing and growth. How did it feel, how did you feel and did it flow? How did it look when you watch another do the same? Where does laughter and light-heartedness come into this? Most importantly, what is the energy in which you did your healing, or you held the space for that healing?